Counting the months

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So it's now early June.  I have roughly 16 (maybe 17) months left working for Kentucky.  So you say, "Mystery person, is that all you think about?"  Why, yes, yes it is.  Mostly anyway.  I have went through my bills and income repeatedly.  I should be able to live on my retirement pension.  It won't be a grand retirement, with me jetsetting around the world or buying new cars (well, ever), but it'll pay the bills.

 My morale is as low as it can humanly go, I think, without contemplating suicide.  I have no desire for that.  I just want to be... "free."  Free to spend my day how I want, free to sleep late, free from people who are arrogant and stupid.  Arrogance I can handle.  Stupid, too.  It's when they're both that I have trouble.

I actually love what I do (programming).  If I had a job I really enjoyed, and paid well, I could probably work many more years.  But I'd have to not deal with arrogant stupidheads, and certainly not work under one.  That's the worst.

 With COVID-19, I haven't even had a direct supervisor.  They let him go back in March, I think.  How will I be evaluated?  I have run out of assignments, and have just given myself work to do that the agency will find useful.  It's all on my status reports, but are they even reading them?  I don't get feedback from management unless it's about my leave balances being too high.  My management is completely useless.

 I keep telling myself, if I can just survive 16 more months of this, it'll all be over.  But that feels like such a very long time.

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